"Fanboys, Fangirls, Otaku"

(shot of Jaren, at night, staring upwards. his POV shot of a dormitory room. the light is on. Jaren reaches a decision and walks inside the dorm. follow him down a hallway to a particular room. he knocks. the door opens and he walks inside. room interior. Melissa is talking on the telephone. there are a lot of papers and books on her desk and around her computer)

Melissa	Yeah. Uh-huh. Look, Jaren just walked in the door. I gotta see what he's up to. OK. Glad you called. See you next week. Bye. (she hangs up)
Melissa	Jaren, why are you here? I told you I was going to be busy.
Jaren	But we had plans. It's Friday night, we can still go out.
Melissa	But I'm busy. I have a major Chemistry report due Monday.
Jaren	C'mon. You've got the whole weekend to work on it. There's--
Melissa	Jaren, we are not in high school anymore. I'm taking 17 units this semester, INCLUDING Chemistry and Biology, and I can't--I don't have the time to drop everything and go out.
Jaren	Melissa...this isn't 'dropping everything', this is a date. You can, you know, make an effort to see me tonight.
Melissa	And what do you mean by that?
Jaren	Whaddaya mean, what do I mean?
Melissa	Look. Go on home. You can give me a call tomorrow, OK? But I really, really do not need this tonight.
Jaren	...Mel?
Melissa	Just go home. OK?
Jaren	All right.

(shot of Jaren alone in the hallway, replaying the incidents in his mind. he can't make sense out of them, gives up, and slowly walks off the way he came) (roll opening credits over shots of Jaren walking through the city aimlessly)

Full screen caption: THAT FATEFUL DAY
(shots of Jan unloading boxes of books out of the back end of his vehicle. he is whistling the Ranma theme song)
(establishing shot of Jaren browsing through a bookstore. something catches his eye. shot of sign)

Sign: MEET JAN DORF JAPANESE POPULAR CULTURE AUTHORITY AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK "RESONANCE--THE IMPACT OF MANGA AND ANIME ON AMERICAN POPULAR CULTURE"

(shot of Jan sitting at a table, surrounded by a lot of copies of the same book. he is reading through a graphic novel to kill time)

Jaren	Slow day?
Jan	Yep. This is as much as the bookstore spent on advertising.
Jaren	That's too bad. So...what's 'manga'? Some kind of fruit?
Jan	'Mahn-ga'. It's the Japanese word for their comic books.
Jaren	Uh. So what's 'anime'? [pronounces it "ah-NIME"]
Jan	'Ah-nee-may'. That's Japanese animation.
Jaren	Oh, you mean like, Robotech, right? With all the big eyes?
Jan	[chuckle] The big eyes are just a stylistic thing. Though they are useful sometimes. For starters, it's easier to show small changes in emotion with big eyes. But if a character is talking about someone they love, or a cherished dream, their eyes can get even bigger and more Bambi-like.
Jaren	Huh. That's really interesting.
Jan	Other times, when a character is crying and the artist wants to be funny, rivers of tears will pool up under these huge eyes and then go gushing out to the sides, like two fire hoses.
Jaren	What about when he sees a beautiful girl? Do you get these ostrich egg eyes shooting out and a teeny tiny jaw dropping to the floor?
Jan	Actually, no. In manga and anime, sexual attraction--especially when guys look at girls--takes the form of a nosebleed. It can be anything from a slow trickle of blood to a whole nostril's worth at once.
Jaren	Ew. Why is that?
Jan	[shrug] You can't ever forget that this is Japanese culture, not American. It doesn't have to make sense to us. The people who wrote it and drew it and animated it, they were intending only Japanese audiences to watch. As outsiders, we're not privy to a lot of cultural cues that they would be. But that means that we can learn a lot.
	Take Space Battleship Yamato, which was called Star Blazers over here. Have you ever seen it?
Jaren	Er...if I have, it's been a while.
Jan	The idea is that an invading tribe of aliens is going to attack the Earth and blow it up with a super weapon. It's up to the crew of a space cruiser that looks like a battleship to stop them in time.
	Now, here's something I'll bet you didn't know. 'Yamato', the name of the battleship in the original, is also an old name for Japan itself...and a name for a real battleship, the former flag ship of the Japanese Navy that was sunk by the Allied navies in World War II.
	Are you starting to see parallels between this TV show and...
Jaren	...and Japan's defeat in World War II. Huh. Pretty sneaky.
Jan	Well, sneaky is the wrong word. It's probably no more glorifying military Japan than 'Gone with the Wind' is a glorification of the old South.
Jaren	[thinks about it] Give me another one.
Jan	I'll sell you a book full of them. And you can be my first customer. [opens a book] Who should I make this out to?
Jaren	I'm Jaren. Jaren Stonybridge.
Jan	Nice to meet you, Jaren. Before you go, though...why don't you buy this, too? [hands Jaren the book he was reading]
Jaren	A manga book? 'The Mind Crime Operation'?
Jan	I translated it. The title was my publisher's idea, by the way.
Jaren	All right. [handshake] It's nice to meet you, Jan.
Jan	My pleasure.

FSC: A BREAK FROM STUDY
(establishing shot of Jaren in a library. his books and papers are spread out in front of him. he's sitting and staring off into space, probably thinking about Melissa. he rouses himself, starts picking through his papers, then gives up. impulsively, he pulls out the MCO GN from his backpack and starts looking through it. mix through shots of Jaren absorbed in the story, laughing, horridly skipping a few pages, and comparing something in the GN with something in Jan's book. finally, he is looking at the last page of the book. shot of the handwritten note)

Handwritten note: City College campus 7 PM Mondays Ladd Building room 314

FSC: THAT ALSO FATEFUL NIGHT
(night shot of Jaren walking through a college campus)
(a door in a classroom opens and Jaren shyly comes in. there's a lot of background talking. he looks around the room. pan across room, showing the otaku. Rod is working on a VCR-TV hookup, everyone else is chatting in small groups. shots of a couple of these subdivisions)

Carrie	I been meaning to ask you...have you gotten the BGC trailer from your friend yet?
Kyle	Uh-uh. I checked my e-mail before I drove over, I haven't heard from her yet. But I got to thinking, I don't have to sub it, because it's just a trailer, so as soon as I convert it I'll bring in the tape.
Carrie	The design's totally different, isn't it?
Kyle	My god! Sonada is going to flip, if he hasn't already.
Tran	Isn't 'nasai' a command form of the verb?
Billy	Uh-huh. But 'o-yasumi nasai' is such an idiomatic expression, it's lost that flavor. It's like what 'good bye' means--I mean, how can a bye be good?
Tran	I get your point.
Geena	Are you going to be much longer?
Rod	The friggin' wire's stripped, man. Give me some time.
Louis	Do you want my needle-nosed pliers?
Rod	Aw, that'd be sweet. Lemme.
Tran	Hey! Look! It's someone new!

(reaction shot from Jaren. then jump cut to the otaku, in a line, bowing in unison)

Otaku	KOMBANWAAAA, NEWBIE-SAN!
Tran	Are you looking for anime? Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Tran Min, president of City College Manga and Anime Club, 'Trying to think up a clever name since 1987!'
Jaren	Uh...hi, I'm Jaren, you've probably seen me around, I go--
Billy	Yoroshiku o-negai shimasu, Jaren-kun! Our home is your home, Otaku! Ha! Jokes in other languages slay me.
Carrie	Slay? FIIIIRE-BAAAAL!
Geena	[cackle laugh]
Rod	Huh? I don't get it.
Tran	Obviously, we're making references to anime that Jaren-kun is unacquainted with.
Kyle	[jumps onto a chair] C-Macs! It is unjust that our newest member should be the object of our silliness at this premature hour!
Billy	Is that Amelia or Sailor Moon you're doing?
Carrie	Doesn't matter. [grabs Billy] Keep him away from me.
Rod	OK, sure, the chick always goes for the cute gay guy.
Jaren	Um...maybe I should...
Otaku	NO, NO, NO! STAY, STAY, STAY!
Tran	It's not at all like we're a bunch of introverts with nothing better to do than to fritter away a Monday evening watching cartoons in a foreign language.

(seats Jaren down in a chair)

Tran	The word 'o-taku' comes from the Japanese 'o', which is just an honorific suffix, and 'taku', which is an old-fashioned word for 'home'--usually, someone else's home. It means something like 'your Homebodyness', but is generally translated as 'Fanboy' or 'Fangirl'. 'Otaku' is used for pretty much anyone in Japan who's devoted to a hobby--manga and anime culture, most often.
Jaren	Manga and anime...culture?
Carrie	Garage kits!
Louis	Doujinshi!
Kyle	Cells!
Rod	Memorabelia!
Tran	Roleplaying! Anything one of those normal people would do, only better, because it incorporates your favorite anime.
Jaren	You people are really weird, you know that?
Geena	Yep, pretty much.
Carrie	Now, don't go anywhere, we've got some great anime to play tonight.
Kyle	Say, anyone seen my Clash of the Bionoids tape?
Tran	Kyle, shut up or we'll lock you in the closet and make you watch Robotech.
Kyle	I'll shut up...Eskes.
Louis	Rod, is the VCR hooked up?
Rod	We're ready to go. Let's rock.
Tran	OK, first up we've got Martian Successor Nadesico. Ever hear of it, Jaren?
Jaren	[dumbly shakes his head]
Rod	[standing by an elaborate diagram] Basically, the ship's assitant cook just wants to be a cook, because he can't handle the responsibility of being a mecha pilot, as a result of a trauma he suffered while he was living on Mars, where he grew up with the captain, who has the hots for him, and her father and brother. He cares not for her, preferring the navigation officer, who's the last one in contact with the space station before it gets blown up. The three survivors are mecha pilots and take point when they land on Mars to investigate what killed the assistant cook's parents, and discover a grown amnesia victim who recruits the captain and the science officer for a television show--and that's where we've left off.
Carrie	[up close to the camera] Baka baka.

(shot from the side. Carrie is practically smushed up against Jaren's face. Jaren has a horrified grimace)

FSC: THAT ALSO ALSO FATEFUL AFTERNOON
(Jaren stares dully in front of him. as if in flashback, there's a repeat shot of the otaku bowing. back on Jaren. Kyle shouts at the screen, Geena hits him over the head with a hammer. back on Jaren. Rod stares dumbly at a stream of VCR tape coming out of the casette. back on Jaren. Jaren, Tran and Carrie go their separate ways at night. Jaren sighs loudly. switch POV to show that he is at a professor's office hours.)

Professor	...but if you don't count that, your writing is certainly adequate. You could conceivably pass this class in the remaining twelve weeks of this term.
Jaren	OK. Sure.
Professor	Is there anything else, Mr. Stonybridge?
Jaren	Professor...if I believe in chasing my bliss, but I don't know if I've found my bliss, in fact it's actually freaky, but it's better than what I've got going for me at the moment, which, incidently, shows no signs of changing any time soon, should I chase it, or just trot after it, or drop the whole thing like a hot order of tempura?
Professor	Dear God, Mr. Stonybridge, stop talking like a driveling freshman college student.
Jaren	That's what I am.
Professor	And don't talk back to me.

FSC: EVIDENTLY, HE DIDN'T LISTEN
(back in the meeting room. Jaren is sitting by the AV equipment while Rob works on it. Rob is off-screen)

Rob	Thanks a bundle for helping with the equipment, man. I usually have to do this myself. Hand me the yellow cable and the red cable.
Jaren	Hey, do you know if they've made an anime about Mind Crime Operation?
Rob	That's the one by Akito Yuhiro, right? Don't know. Wire stripper. Have you checked on the Net yet?
Jaren	No, I haven't. Do you think there'd be anything on there?
Rob	Duh. See, in Japan, if you want to watch anime, you flip on your TV, or you go to a movie, and you can just phone up some of your buddies, boom, your whole circle's there. Give me the electrical tape and the scissors.
Jaren	Should I tear off a piece?
Rob	I'll do it. But here in the US, it's different. Back in the 80's, when anime started coming over as fan-produced subtitles and a few commercial releases, otaku had to hope there was someone in town who was also cool. So they'd e-mail, or use newsgroups, and network that way. Hand me the saw.
Jaren	What, the circular saw?
Rob	Naw, the hand saw. So, that's the scene until, say, 1992 or '93, when the first browsers came out. Then you could put up images and text, like screen shots and stuff, for everyone to see. You could even, like, put up a list of what titles you had so people could swap. Now, give me the hammer and the socket wrench.
Jaren	So I can search the Web or something?
Rob	Yeah. Like, try the Tern Anime Web Pike, or just a search engine should do you.

(sound of hammering, then wrenching)

Rob	OK. What does the VCR say?
Jaren	Uh...12:01 AM.

(more sounds of wrenching)

Rob	What about now?
Jaren	12:02 AM.
Rob	Sweet, we're makin' money!

FSC: THE WORLD WIDE WEB
(stylish quick shots of Jaren at a computer, working hard. we see a Web page on the computer screen)

Web page: THE TERN ANIME WEB PIKE: SPONSORED BY BIZ COMMUNICATIONS
(shots of Jaren typing, the words 'Mind Crime Operation' appearing in a text field, more text fields and web pages flash by. Jaren nods. telnet boxes, mail program fields appear.) (montage of people working at computers. each has a voice over as the 'speaker' works at a computer)

Marco	Hi, Jaren. I'm Marco, I'm an MCO otaku up here in Ottowa. I got your e-mail. MCO was originally called 'Drei-Reich', D-R-E-I-R-E-I-C-H in Roman letters. The name makes no sense, unless you know the kanji, or the Chinese characters, that make up the title. It would be read 'Mittsu-Oh-Koku', which means 'Three Kingdoms'. My best guess is that this refers to the three main characters--Nikki, Sister Mary, and Dr. X. The English translators figured that Akito Yuhiro's German title wouldn't sit well with the audience, so they changed the name.
Margot	Heyo, Jaren. I got your message. I'm Margot, I live in Phoenix. In answer to your question, no, Yuhiro-sensei did not draw all the pictures on my web page. Most of them, including the picture of Nikki and his heroin needles, are fan art that has been scanned in. I've got some manga pictures in the Really Small Rotating MCO Gallery, but like the name says, it's really small.
Martin	Hello, Jaren. I'm Martin. Thanks for writing to me, I'm the only MCO fan I know in Wyoming, I love to hear from new people. The good news is that yes, there is a two-episode MCO video, but it's only available in Japan. One of my friends has made a fan sub of it, I'll send you his address. If you're looking to get into fan subs, he's a good guy to be in touch with.
Mark	Hey there, buddy. I'm Mark, I live in Minneapolis, and I just want to say, dude, you rock.

(establishing shot of a large stone sculpture somewhere. pan over to pick up Jaren and Tran. Jaren is lying on the ground, Tran is writing in a book)

Jaren	So I've found all these people who are into MCO, there's a mailing list, two web rings, a chat room. Even alt.comics.mco.
Tran	How did it make you feel?
Jaren	I feel really good. Like, I'm accepted now. I'm part of a community.
Tran	And how does this affect your relationship with other people?
Jaren	[sigh] Well, my girlfriend and I have now officially split up, but..it wasn't because of my interest in manga. So I don't think that it's relevant.
Tran	Could it be that you're projecting your need to be loved into anime culture? Or do you just need someone to identify with? Oh, and which sounds better, "Ranma flew up out of the pond like a flamingo out of a cannon", or "Ranma shot up out of the pond like a flamingo out of a cannon"?
Jaren	What in God's name are you doing?
Tran	I've been working on my fan fiction while you've been talking.

FSC: FAN FICTION

Tran	In Japan, the circulation of a comic book can be bigger than the circulation of a news magazine. Manga conventions fill whole football stadiums. You may not be surprised to know, fan manga--called doujinshi--are incredibly common and incredibly popular. Groups get together, often starting in high school, and write, draw, ink, and sell their own stories.
	In the US, that wouldn't work. Comic books haven't been so big a part of American culture since the 1950's. On top of that, manga fans are really spread out...if you wanted to sell dojinshi over the Internet back before the Web got started, you'd have to convince people to buy it and pay for shipping without showing what the quality of the art or the writing was like.
	Enter fan fiction. A fan fic is a story, usually using someone else's characters or setting, written by fans for fans. The quality level can be atrocious or brilliant, the length can be a few lines to more than a novel.
Jaren	So what happens?
Tran	Pretty much, anything goes. They can be light, dark, humorous, romantic. Some people cross over two or more series. Some people rewrite episodes. Some people deliberately take the story in directions the creators didn't want, just to see what happens.
	In general, those that take bigger risks are better than those that are just rehashing old plots. The rule about 'If you don't have anything to say, just shut up' applies. Also...there's a tendency for people to want to "fix" things, or put overly strong characters into the storyline. You know...someone who Asuka falls head-over-heels in love with at first sight, who gets Misato to stop drinking, who can pilot an Evangelion blindfolded with both arms tied. That makes for a dull read.
Jaren	What are you working on?
Tran	It's a story about Ranma and Akane, called "Poke me harder, Ranma!"
Jaren	That's revolting.
Louis	You ever see...blue anime?

(shot of Louis and Jaren watching some anime. we don't see the screen, but there's a lot of moaning. Louis has an interested smirk on his face, Jaren's eyes are bulging)

FSC: HENTAI ANIME
(a room somewhere on the college campus)

Louis	I stopped watching real people fuck a long time ago. My problem is, I find a woman's inner labia a real turn-off. One wrong view and the Goku in my Trunks goes Vegita.
	Anime has given me the only real sexual satisfaction I've ever felt. It's better than real. If I'm in the mood for a woman whose tits are bigger than her head, or who's dressed up in a tiger-striped bikini and some chains, I can find her.
	Hentai also lets me get creative. Up until recently, Japanese censorship laws prevented artists from drawing the genitals in any kind of detail. I find that leaving a little bit up to the imagination works better for me, it's more of a tease.
Jaren	So what is 'hentai'?
Louis	'Hentai', or 'ecchi', comes from the Japanese word 'hen', meaning strange or perverse. It covers a lot of territory--heterosexual sex, lesbian sex, yaoi sex, pretty much anything that involves a horizontal trip on the Nekobasu. There's only one thing I can't get into. Underage sex, Lolita-complex stuff. They won't export it over seas.
Jaren	WHAT?
Louis	I said, 'I don't support it, if you please'.
Jaren	That's what I thought you said. What does your mother think of your hobby?
Louis	Well, what does your father think of yours?

FSC: FIRST UNCOMFORTABLE BRUSH WITH REALITY
(Jaren and his father walk into his dorm room)

Jaren	Sorry about the mess. I've become a real slob in the last six months.
Father	A goddam college dorm room. Huh. This really takes me back...floor parties and lifting silverware from the goddam cafeteria...
Jaren	I'll just be a minute. I want to grab some money out of my sock drawer.
Father	Don't worry, Jar. I'll pay for the goddam beer. What the hell is that?

(he is looking at a manga-esque Warrior Nun Arela picture taped to Jaren's wall)

Jaren	That? Oh, that's Sister Mary. She's the heroine of my favorite...uh, comic book.
Father	She looks like a freak. Her eyes are bigger than her goddam boobs.
Jaren	It's just the style. She was drawn by a Japanese guy, Akito Yuhiro.
Father	A goddam Japanese comic book?
Jaren	Yeah. It's over a thousand pages long, and it tells the story of her, her lover Nikki, and their ruler Dr. X. It's set in a post-apocalyptic, sort of Mad-Max world.
Father	I didn't know the goddam Japanese even HAD comic books. You haven't gone soft on me, now, have you?
Jaren	Huh?
Father	Watching goddam Saturday morning cartoons and eating sugar cereals until your eyes run out of your head?
Jaren	...the ceral you can understand. It's either them or that revolting granola the cafeteria gets.
Father	Jaren, you're 19 years old, 25 if we go by your fake ID, it's time you started acting like a goddam adult. You should've outgrown comic books when you were five years old. Now, you're almost out living on your own, you're in college, and you need to start deciding what you're going to do with your life, not goddam burying your head in the sand with this nonsense.
	I'm not mad with you. I'm just so goddam frustrated to see you trashing your life when you've got such a bright future ahead of you. Now c'mon. There's two good goddam steaks out there with our names on 'em. You'll feel better once you have some goddam American food in your stomach.

(they exit. jump cut to Jaren pouting in a room somewhere)

Jaren	I wanted him to understand. I wanted him to say, 'Son, as long as you're doing a good job, that's fine with me. It's your own life.' For crying out loud, I even had an essay all prepared about the differences between Japanese and American perceptions of the Apocalypse and the aftermath...
Carrie	Don't jostle the table, please.

FSC: FAN ART
(Jaren watches while Carrie paints a cel)

Carrie	Some people do ink, charcoal, pencil, CG. Ever since I discovered anime in high school, cel painting's been my favorite. I like the use of bold dark lines with bright colors, it's a very eye catching combination. I like to be able to plan out my design with the ink, then paint in...so there's two stages of the art, I can work at a nice slow pace. I like how the paint sticks to the cel. Mistakes are easy to correct, you can scrape dried paint off with just an X-Acto knife.
	What I really like is when I'm done and I can assemble the whole work. I'll have background, characters and props--you know, like the inside of the Maison Ikkoku apartment, a chair, Godai, Kyoko--and they'll lie one on top of the other. It all contributes to making the picture whole.
	Anime-esque art is pretty hip nowadays, but people just go for the image--big eyes, big breasts, big guns. They miss the real beauty that artwork can inspire. A well-balanced scene or an inspired picture can make or break anime. I'll take Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's subtle Evangelion artwork over Masamune Shirow's up-in-your-face genius any day.
Jaren	What's that you're working on?
Carrie	It's a picture of the Overfiend.
Jaren	Who's that?
Louis	Ever see...tentacle anime?

(as before--shot of Louis and Jaren watching some anime. we don't see the screen, but there's a lot of moaning. Louis has an interested smirk on his face, Jaren is now wincing)

Jaren	Why the hell did I just watch that? I spent 45 minutes watching less-than-consentual sex between a woman and something with way too many feelers...and the feeler thing was drawn with more realism. I mean, what the hell? There's some guy who takes a bento box out of the fridge, kisses his wife goodbye, and shouts merrily from the driveway, "I'll be home a few minutes late, dear, there's an awful lot of feelers to be drawn at work!"
	[groan] I will never understand Japan, Japanese people, or Japanese culture.
Billy	But you could at least try.

FSC: JUST WHAT IS JAPAN?

Billy	Japan is a very old country. Civilization had been established there more than two millenia ago, but the real cultural development began about 300 AD. That's when Chinese influence, in the form of Buddhism, Confucianism and writing, came over.
Jaren	I thought that China and Japan haven't ever gotten along.
Billy	The relationship between China, Japan and Korea is really complex. It doesn't help that all three seem to have influenced each other indirectly as well as through trade and warfare.
	Anyway. Around the turn of the Ninth Century the capital of Japan was in Kyoto. There was a lot of cultural development--many famous Japanese poems, as well as the novel The Tale of Genji, are from this period.
Jaren	Is that when you had samurais and stuff?
Billy	Not so much; although after the fall of the court, the military and shoguns ruled for about 150 years. The real power of the samurai didn't get going until the 16th century, although they became most famous when Japan was closed to outsiders between 1603 and 1867, when Commodore Perry forced Japan open.
Jaren	Why did they do that?
Billy	I think that it has to do a lot with the Japanese mindset. Japan is a very proud nation, as patriotic as the US is. I think that the crucial difference is that Japan had 1600 years of history to point to, and say, 'This is who we are, this is our identity'. The US doesn't have anything close to that, it never has. So while we've been struggling to balance the identity of our nation with the self-determination and diversity that we enshrined in our break with England, Japan has had a lot of cultural homogeneity to draw on.
	So in the Sixteenth Century, when the first Portugese merchants were trying to make good in Yokohama, they weren't just bringing money and guns; they also had Christianity, political ideas, maybe even dreams of colonization. It's understandable how a very conservative culture like Japan's, that also places a heavy value on unity and common thought, would react to this new-fangled Western influence.
Jaren	They'd react against it.
Billy	Yeah. Fortunately, few people got hurt in the process, and Japan was able to modernize in under a century. It's kind of funny, really...Japanese society places such pressure on people to conform and be like everyone else. But at the same time, Japanese people have come up with some of the most innovative ideas in the Twentieth Century. It's like two faces of the same value--embracing education and driving kids to learn, but at the same time, to not buck the system they grew up in.
Jaren	So how do you know so much about Japanese culture?
Billy	Copyright infringement.

FSC: FANSUBS
Jaren	I don't know about this, this whole deal sounds a bit too risky to me.
Kyle	There's nothing risky about fan subbing.
Jaren	Except that it's technically illegal.
Kyle	In the US, probably. But we're dealing with Japanese companies. That's the difference. Japan has always had much less strict copyright laws than the US. And anime studios can profit by them. Let's say you have a good idea for 'My Neighbor Totoro II' or something. Be honest, no matter how good an idea it is, it'll never sell. Instead, what you can do is draw your own comic book about how the two girls grow up and meet more magical friends in the forest. If you publish it and sell it at zero profit, you're not really making any money off the idea, and people will know that Miyazaki wasn't the author.
	If you do a good job with it, hey, you could be like CLAMP and eventually get your own manga an anime studio, while Miyazaki smiles on your creativity and maybe he gains a few more fans. If you do a bad job, you end up looking stupid, you've wasted a lot of time and energy, and it'll all pass.
Jaren	But a fan sub's different, isn't it? It's duplicating someone else's movie, adding subtitles, and then distributing it.
Kyle	Think about it from a business perspective. You could take Katsuhiro Otomo's 'Memories', give it a good fan sub, and distribute it. Then when people like it, you're in a position to say to an American distributor "Hey, people like 'Memories', why don't you guys pick up 'Perfect Blue'?"
	It's a soft sell, Jaren. Japanese artists LOVE to get translated into English, and American fans love to get anime cheap.
Jaren	What's the catch, then?
Kyle	Us poor souls have to figure out what the character are saying, translate it to English, and get the little words on the bottom of the screen.
Billy	[talking to himself] "Yabai"...she says "Yabai"...but she probably means...."The train conductor is in danger of discovering I have a wild monkey on my lap."

(he pulls some magnetic tape out of a video casette and starts writing on it)

Kyle	Nowadays we do it with computers, but Billy likes to think of himself as 'hard core'.

FSC: THE FOND FAREWELL
(the meeting room)

Tran	Could I get your attention, people? Thank you. The first item this evening is elections...
Kyle	...which in Japanese is pronounced...
Tran	Kyle, shut up or we lock you in the closet and make you watch yaoi anime.
Kyle	I'll shut up.
Tran	The position for which we shall hold a vote is president. Basically, you act as president, vice president, treasurer (which really isn't a big deal because we have no money), and secretary (which really isn't a big deal either because there's nothing to write down), organize meetings, schmooze with business people if any come to town. You start with the first meeting next semester. Who wants the job?
Rod	I nominate--Jaren Stonybridge! For his Grand Unified Field Theory of Shojo Anime!
Everyone Else	What the heck?!?

(Jaren is standing by a picture of a high school girl in a fuku)

Jaren	It was just this idea I got in my American Lit lecture the other day. I was wondering how come when magical girls like Sailor Moon go through their transformation sequences their hair sticks up but their skirt just flutters. If it's just ordinary air blowing around, their skirts should be up around their belly buttons and their hair shouldn't get any higher than neck-level. [draws on picture with pens] The way I figure it is...that spooky light that starts shining when they begin their sequence is a kind of plasma. The heat acts to draw up air from beneath the Sailor Scout, lifting the skirt and the hair just enough to cause the flutter. But the energy ionizes the air, acting like one of those static electricity generators you see at the science museum, and all these ions go onto the hair. So the hair will naturally stick up more than it should, while the skirt will naturally cling to the girl's legs.

(seven seconds of dead silence)

Geena	Oh my goddess.
Tran	An otaku is born.

FSC: THE SUMMER MONTHS DRAG ON
(medly of shots, hopefully over music. Jaren in nice clothes talks on the phone--his job, evidently. Jaren fools with a garage kit. Jaren watches anime. Jaren and Jan read manga. Jaren walks outside, looks around to establish that it's sunny, and goes back inside. the otaku, maybe with a couple of other people, watch anime)
(change of scene to Jaren's father's house. Jaren is talking on the phone)

Jaren	Uh-uh. Nothing. I promise. Yeah, thanks for calling. Say hi to Andrew for me. Yeah. Take it easy. Talk to you later. Bye.

(he hangs up the phone and walks out to the living room. his father is drinking beer and watching television)

Jaren	That was my mother on the phone. She says hi.
Father	[grunts]
Jaren	What's the deal? I thought we were going to watch the ball game.
Father	Goddam rain delay. The goddam A's are too chicken to get a little wet. I was surfing when I hit the news.
Jaren	Ah.

(shot of TV screen. anchorwoman is identified as Lea Karvonen)

Woman	...until Senator Burke can be reached. In financial news, the crisis in Asia took a morbid turn this afternoon. K J Hernandez has details.

(cameraman in front of a building somewhere)

Man	Good afternoon. Today in Tokyo, Mamoru Yamaga, the president of Hayashibara Industries, announced that, as a result of the recession, he may be compelled to cut jobs and perks in the near future. 45 had committed suicide by the closing today, more are expected in the coming weeks...

(father switches off the TV)

Father	Goddam hari-kari outbreak.
Jaren	Seppuku, actually. Hara-kiri is just the slicing of the belly.
Father	Whatever it is, goddam it, why don't they just go off and find new jobs somewhere?
Jaren	Eh...it kind of has to do with Japanese perceptions of devotion and gratitude. A salaryman in Japan is expected to be absolutely devoted to his company--basically, you get your job, and you're expected to be so glad to have the job you obey your superiors absolutely and put in long hours. The trade-off, though, is that you have absolute job security. You start work when you're in your 20's, you inch up the corporate ladder as you get older, you retire when you're in your 60's with a fat pension.
Father	Goddam idiots. Why don't they get their goddam act together?
Jaren	Well, if things work, it's not such a bad system, really. The problem is that the economy has changed and the system hasn't. Japan's bubble economy grew and grew during the 80's and the start of the 90's, and the system was working. People were doing all right. Now the bubble's burst, and people are clinging to their old ways. The Japanese are having to play their pride in their system against the harsh economic realities.
Father	Huh. Where'd you hear all that?
Jaren	Crayon Shin-chan.
Father	Is that one of those goddam cartoons?
Jaren	Yes, it is.
Father	Son of a bitch.
Jaren	I KNEW I'D MAKE YOU PROUD, DAD!!!!
Father	[takes a stiff drink of beer] I notice you haven't been bringing any of those goddam tapes to watch while you've been home.
Jaren	Well, we're going to have an anime marathon over at my friend Billy's place over the weekend.
Father	What's that? You sit around and drink beer and watch your goddam a-ni-me?
Jaren	Pretty much. Except we mostly drink soda pop.
Father	Why's that?
Jaren	For the sugar.

(establishing shot of a TV screen. there is no anime playing. the first few seconds stay on the TV, with all lines spoken from off-screen. all voices are completely zonked)

Rod	Somebody want to stop the tape?
Billy	I think the tape is stopped.
Rod	Oh. Yeah. Someone want to rewind the tape?
Billy	OK. Wait.
Rod	What?
Geena	What?
Billy	We were watching a laser disk, weren't we?
Rod	Uh...
Geena	Yeah. Yeah, we were.
Rod	Which one?
Carrie	Anyone know what time it is?
Geena	It's midnight.
Rod	How do you know?
Geena	It says 12:00 on the VCR.
Carrie	Oh.
Billy	Baka. It ALWAYS says 12:00 on the VCR.
Geena	Oh.
Carrie	No, she's right. Look, it says 0-0-0-0 over there.
Rod	That's the counter for the laser disk.
Carrie	Oh.

(shots of the room now. it's as dark as possible. people are sprawled over the furniture)

Jaren	Guys?
Billy	Yeah?
Jaren	Do you guys think that...well...Sailor Mercury is...kinda beautiful?
Geena	The Sailor Scout Sailor Mercury? Sailor Moon's friend?
Jaren	Yeah. I think she's...well...beautiful. That's it.
Jan	Jaren...you're going to have to face it. She is very beautiful. Take my advice, be honest with yourself.
Carrie	Be honest with all of us, Jar. We voted you president...tell us the truth.
Jaren	Well...Jan said it. She is very, very beautiful.
Billy	Kirei desu ne. Utsukushisa bishoujo no desu. That is right, right Jan?
Jan	Of course. We all think she's the most beautiful girl...
Jaren	Woman! The most beautiful young woman, in all of anime! Guys...do you think...do you think that, if I asked her, she'd go out with me?
Geena	Jaren, don't be an idiot. She's Japanese. You don't speak the same language, you'd never have a chance.
Billy	Oi! Urutsei na! You just shut up. Love knows no boundaries! If their love is true, then nothing can keep them apart!
Louis	Hear, hear.

(establishing pan across the campus. pick up on Billy, reading a book. he reacts to something. his POV--Jaren is walking his way. Billy gets up)

Billy	Jaren! How's it going?
Jaren	Billy-sempai! Ah...hisashiburi desu ne!
Billy	Hai! So desu. Jaren-kun wa Nihon-go ni benkyo o shite imasu ka?
Jaren	Um...hai! I decided to take a Japanese course this semester.
Billy	Wonderful. How are you liking it so far?
Jaren	It's OK. It's an incredibly difficult language, though.
Billy	Oh, you're just intimidated by it.

FSC: JAPANESE DEMYSTIFIED
Billy	Nouns in Japanese are always singular. Unless they become plural with a suffix, or you use a counter suffix to indicate otherwise. Or it's a habitual action, in which case you indicate it with a prefix. Nouns do not take articles as such. Instead, prepositions are used and articles are implied. Except that in Japanese, the prepositions are behind rather than in front of the noun, except for the posessive, which preceeds it, and the quotative, which follows the clause. Verbs are conjugated in both vulgar and formal fashions, though the vulgar can still be considered polite if the verb itself is a formal, rather than casual, verb. The verb comes at the very end of the clause, except when you're using inverted word order, in which case the puck crosses both blue lines and you serve from the other part of the court.

(establishing shot of a tennis court. Jaren and Billy are going over flash cards)

Jaren	Onna.Woman.
	Otoko. Man.
	Yama. Hill.
	Kawa. River.
	Hi. Sun.
	Yasumi. Break.
Billy	So it must be. [puts down flash cards] So what's the plan for the first meeting? Jaren? Jaren? Daijobu desu ka?

(Billy follows Jaren's gaze. Jaren is looking at a young man)

Billy	Well, from where I'm sitting, I'd give him about an 8.
Jaren	No. Her.

(we see that he is with Melissa)

Billy	She's cute. Kind of trendy.
Jaren	She was my high school sweetheart...we'd been going out for two years or so. Then, we got to college, and things started getting rough. She was just...so focused on her studies. She said that I wanted to have it both ways, that you couldn't be focused on your work and still have a relationship. We finally broke up in January.
Billy	Hey, listen up. There's nothing wrong with wanting everything in this world to be perfect for you, you know? My boyfriend? He told his parents that he was gay, they were all, 'Oh, son, we're so proud of you, we're glad you told us, we'll support you.' He told them he was a vegetarian, they threw him out and haven't spoken to him since.
	Look, I admit it. I'm an idealist. I'm an escapist. I don't want to deal with a world where people are filled with hatred and arrogant stupidity. So I watch big mecha thrashing it out with each other and Japan blowing up every hour on the hour. I could write sci-fi. I could paint pictures. Those could be my escapes. I want to watch anime. You know what I'm saying?
Jaren	Yeah. I guess you're right.
Billy	That's why I watch it, anyway. What about you?
Jaren	[thinks, then] I don't know. I kind of found it. I had fun. I met you all. You're OK. You treat me with respect, and I want to get to know you all better. I want to be more like you guys...pariahs though you--we, are.
Billy	And that whole personal life thing?
Jaren	Well, there's this girl in my Japanese class--what? What?
Billy	Poor--little--heterosexual.
Jaren	Eh?
Billy	It happens to all you otaku, doesn't it? You've got Yellow Fever, that's what.

FSC: YELLOW FEVER
(a white guy and an Asian girl sitting at a table. she is about to speak but he interrupts)

He	What is it that causes so many otherwise indistinguishable white males to develop attractions to Asian females, to the point that they will date those of no other race? Is it the epicanthic fold? The melenated skin tone? The diminutive stature?
She	Hey!
He	The soft squishy exterior?

(he pokes her to demonstrate)

She	Knock it off!
He	That Oriental mystique?
She	You're going down...
He	Maybe we'll never know.

(she shoves him out of his chair and starts pummeling him off screen. jump cut back to Jaren and Billy)

Billy	...which is why we refer to it as "Asian Fever" in mixed company, if at all.
Jaren	I understand.
Billy	So what are we seeing at the first showing?
Jaren	Yeah, I was going through Geena's tape box and I saw a bunch of titles I hadn't seen before...uh, Angel's Egg was one, Basara--that's not the same as Bastard, right? Yeah. So, I'm curious to see what those are going to be like, but...I just don't know anything about them.
Billy	Geena does online anime reviews. Why don't you have her help you find some anime review sites?

FSC: THE ANIME REVIEW

Geena	I am God.

(Jaren nods meekly)

Geena	I hunt the anime. I watch it. Again and again. I eat it. I analyze it from a neo-Animist Shinto perspective. I compare the music to Philip Glass'. I chart the rise and fall of a seiyuu over his voice acting career and peg where he was at his best. I see a cel or a frame and I can peg where it was in the film to the length into a particular scene.

(she starts grabbing tapes and tossing them to Jaren)

Geena	This one has a voice acting that grates on my ears like fingernails across a chalkboard, but has a captivating examination of how Japan treats its criminal underclass. B-. This is a sensitive and emotional treatment of a child's life in post-apocalyptic Earth, and has an intelligent storyline if you can get around the blood splattering. A-. This one argues that a woman will be sexually attracted to anyone who is tall, muscular and able to save the day, even if he is withdrawn, sadistic, despises intimacy and has already died. Nice design. D+. This one manages to degrade women without showing anyone with fully developed breasts. F.

(turns to her tape collection)

Geena	ZOT! B+! ZOT! A! ZOT! C+! ZOT! ZOT! KAPOW! DIE WRITHING ON THE GROUND, YOU INFINITLE MECHA BATTLE!
Jaren	I wonder if manga is always this overt.

FSC: THE WAY OF MANGA
(start on Jaren and Jan, in a kind of master-student arrangement)

Jan	The way of manga.
Jaren	Yes.
Jan	The end of the way of manga is twofold. You come to be entertained...and you come to understand Japan. You cannot have one without the other.
Jaren	Yes.
Jan	You must study hiragana, katakana, furigana, and kanji to advance. You must know how to use a dictionary that isn't organized by letter of the alphabet, but by how many little lines the picture-wordy thing has.
Jaren	I am enlightened.
Jan	This is how you shall advance along the Way of Manga.

(he indicates in turn several things)

Jan	This is the dictionary. It is the manga student's best friend. You will use it. You will learn it. You will love it. And when it's 1:15 on a Thursday morning and you're trying to find that 11-stroke radical, you will fall over and sleep in it.
	This is the computer. You will type up your translations, surf the web, and participate in online discussions here. You must--you must--have appropriate software, or the Japanese writing will look funny.
	This is paper and pencil. No matter how advanced the computer may become, it will behoove you to take notes and make little errant scribbles on paper.
	This is my wife. She still comes around every once in a while to dust or something.
	And this...is manga!

(indicates an enormous pile of zines and tankoubons)

Jan	This is not a phone book, it is a comic book. Manga are published in these at first. If a story is successful, it will be republished in a tankoubon, one of these smaller books. The paper in a tankoubon is better than in any manga magazine, and the printing quality is higher too.
	Some manga are translated into English and published. When that happens, the manga are often "flipped"--because Japanese is read right to left, and English is read left to right. But the true student of the way of manga will be able to unflip even the most ornate panel in his or her mind--oh, hey, this is the episode where Lum shows up at school with the giant robot.

(Jan starts reading, Jaren sits around feeling left out)

FSC: AFTER THAT, THEY HAD THE MEETING

Jaren	Everyone, please be seated. I'd like to call this meeting to order.
Kyle	I'll have a California roll and mikan rice.
Jaren	Kyle, shut up or I'll lock you in the closet with Magical Princess Kawaii.
Kyle	Ha! Do your worst.
Jaren	You leave me no choice. Magical Princess Kawaii?

(a little girl in a dress uniform jumps through the doorway)

Tran	Look! It's Magical Princess Kawaii!
Geena &Carrie	OH! SHE'S SO CUUUUTE!
Jaren	When ordinary elementary school student Mimi-chan activates her Magical Princess Handbag, she transforms into Magical Princess Kawaii, sworn defender of love and justice across the universe! She can overcome all foes with the power of her Magical Love Baton and her Magical Peace Compact!
Geena &Carrie	I WANT ONE! I WANT ONE!
MPK	[poses] Beware, evil creatures! [poses] I am Magical Princess Kawaii! [poses] I shall crush you with my power!
Geena &Carrie	OH! MAGICAL PRINCESS KAWAII!
Rob	[he wears a Tuxedo Mask-esque outfit and swoons] Oh! Magical Princess Kawaii!
Kyle	I think I'm going to be sick.

(Jaren opens the closet door for Kyle. MPK follows him in)

Jaren	Magical Princess Kawaii, why don't you sing a little song for us?
MPK	[screaming at the top of her lungs] TO-TO-RO, TO-TO-RO! TO-TO-RO, TO-TO-RO!
Jaren	Pardon that interruption. We'll now continue with episode 1 of Basara, somebody want to get the lights?

(blackout)

FSC: THE ANIME CONVENTION

Jaren	The deal is that every year, a couple of hundred otaku go down to San Torén for the Maison Ikkon Convention. It's a whole three-day weekend where otaku all lodge in a hotel and do otaku stuff. There's the dealer's room, with anime, manga, merchandise, CDs and such. There's other events, like panels and chances to meet people from the industry. People dress up in costumes, sometimes for the heck of it, sometimes to participate in the masquerade and the costume play. They've done art workshops in the past, and karaoke.
	And there's also the anime. Mainstream releases, fansubs, some that haven't been translated yet--it'll be my first time to see the MCO movie! There's also fandubs, where fans have dubbed over the original and given the characters silly voices and twisted lines--and they've started showing music videos, where people take clips from one or more series, stitch 'em all together, and dub music over them!
Geena	Yeah, I know. So why are you telling me all this?
Jaren	Will you share a bedroom with him? [indicates Billy]
Geena	Heck no.
Carrie	Look, it's cheaper if we get two quads rather than a double for the two of us.
Geena	What part of "Yamero" don't you get?
Billy	Oh, look, what have we got here...
Geena	Put that away, Billy
Billy	Why it's a Fushugi Yuugi wall scroll...but there must have been some kind of missprint when they were printing it...
Geena	I said...put...it...away...
Billy	What's that funny fold in the front of Tamahome's trousers? Why, it looks like he's got a woody!
Geena	I said...I said...eEEEEE...
Billy	But that doesn't look right...if he had a woody like that...he'd be hung like a draft horse!
Geena	GIVE ME MY TAMAHOME!!!!!
Tran	Would you just sign this contract here?

(Geena, as lust-ridden as possible, scrawls her name on a piece of paper and grabs for the wall scroll)

FSC: DISEMBARKING

Jaren	[talking on the phone] So this is probably the last call you'll get until I get back. Yeah. It's only a weekend. No, my teacher's going too. It will, 'specially because he's dressed up as Armitage. Yeah. A she. Yeah. Except he can do the Liz Berkley dub perfectly. No, I don't think that'll be a concern at the con, Dad. I'll be safe, I promise. We're driving in two vehicles. Yeah, we'll take plenty of rest breaks, I think we'll need it.

(Jaren, Tran, Louis, and Geena sitting around a car. Geena is still staring at the Tamahome wall scroll)

Louis	Dammit, I never should have asked Ryoga for directions!
Tran	Kiyone! Are we lost?
Jaren	My computer tells me that the Negaverse is just on the other side of the freeway.
Louis	Fear not, C-Macs! With a heart filled with love and justice, we shall surely make it to San Toren yet today!
Jaren	Sir, the Magi have detected a blue pattern! It's an Angel!
Tran	No, it's just Carrie.
Carrie	OK, guys, the guy at the filling station wrote up some directions...he says that we need to be going south, so take a right turn at the light.
Geena	[roused from her stupor] The light...the light...I AM TESUO!
Carrie	TETSUO!
Geena	KANEDA!
Jaren	[grabs head] I'VE GOT AKIRA!
Louis	We've got to get going. Let's--go--
Otaku	[join in] VOLTRON FORCE!
Louis	Form left and middle seat! Form right seat and shotgun! And I'll form the driver's seat!

FSC: THAT FATEFUL WEEKEND
FSC: WELL, THE FATEFUL PART OF IT, ANYWAY
(mix through a few shots to establish that we're at a convention. end up out in the parking lot. Jaren is showing off his stuff to the otaku, piled on and around two cars)

Jaren	...then I found MCO #1, I got a garage kit of Sister Mary, two wall scrolls, a phone card with Dr. X on it...I think that's about it. Oh, and an address for a guy who can copy the MCO album for me.
Carrie	Wow. You're thorough.
Jaren	Thanks.
Kyle	So how much did you spend?
Jaren	Don't know. I stopped counting.
Rob	That's kind of stupid, man...when you gotta use "I'm an otaku" as an excuse for something.
Jaren	OK...you guys are going to think this is really, really baka then...
Otaku	Yeah. Uh-huh. What? Tell us!
Jaren	I got to talking with this guy from BC Listening, the guys who are going to release the MCO video...
Tran	...and?
Jaren	And I'm thinking about going professional.
Otaku	WHAT?
Jaren	Yeah! Well, look at us, think about it. We've got some kind of organization going. We know what we like...and there's enough manga and anime in Japan, we have to find something that we like and that we think other people would, too.
Tran	Yeah...we could...
Jaren	We've got artists, we've got Japanese speakers, we've got writers, hell, I can take some business classes. We don't need to buy anime and manga, we can sell it. We can make this whole scene! We can be doing garage kits, translations, subbing...
Louis	My god, he's preaching the word!
Carrie	Go, Jaren, go! Go!
Jaren	[leaps up on a car. his hair starts billowing. Billy can be seen to be holding a fan at the edge of the screen] The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step! The sub of a thousand tapes begins with a single opening credits list! Guys, all these companies got started just like us! We can do it! We'll put together a business plan, choose a central philosophy, obtain some capital and put together an empire! And we shall call ourselves...[long pause]...OK, I'll work that out later. But we shall have a catchy name! A clever slogan! A cute mascot! Nothing is in our way!
Rob	It's beautiful, it's so beautiful!
Geena	Jaren, listen to yourself! Others, just like you, have tried and failed before! The sad fact is that there's so few of us, and it's so hard to make a dollar! You have to face reality!
Jaren	Then I'll just have to change reality! There's 260 million people in this country, and a few more if you count illegal immigrants, and each and every one of us can be otaku! HEAR ME, REALITY! IF IT'S ME AGAINST REALITY, REALITY IS OKONAMIYAKI!

(sounds of cheering)

FSC: AND THAT, FANBOY, IS WHY...
FSC: ...THE CAPITAL OF KANSAS IS NOW TOPIKACCHU.
(blackout. roll closing credits) (after end of theme music:)

Otaku 1	Is that it?
Otaku 2	I liked the OAV series better.
Otaku 3	So what else do we got?
Otaku 2	It's either..."All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku" or "Lodoss War". Druthers?
Otaku 1	Sub or dub on Lodoss?
Otaku 2	That'd be the dub.
Otaku 3	I'll go with...Nuku Nuku.
Otaku 1	Nuku Nuku.
Otaku 2	Nuku Nuku it is, then.